Lost…

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I’m so confused. So tired of everything. Is this what it feels like? Is this what people feel when they say a part of them is missing?

I feel so dead on the inside.
I feel so lost.
Why are they blaming me?
She left me too!
She promised we’d be together, forever and always. But she lied! She never told me she was dying. She never explained to me the fickleness of life.
Why did she leave me?
And now they look at me like I’m the Criminal. But I didn’t know.
I didn’t know she was sick. I didn’t know about the cancer.
When will this pain stop?
Mama, they’re looking for someone to blame. Why me? I didn’t know too.
Mama, they say I’m a witch. That I drank your blood and ate your flesh. They say I used you for blood ritual and that that is how I got rich.
Mama, they forget that when Papa left us, you hawked and scrounged and planned on how to get food for me to eat. My brother had died along with Papa in the forest when they went to hunt the wild pig that had eaten our cassava crops.
He left us Mama. He and Dede. And now you’ve left me too. Mama, why are you so cruel? Mama, I’m alone…all alone.
Uncle Raymond is standing outside with his cohorts. The ones who took everything Papa left for us. They are back again, like the vultures they are, looking for what to take from me.
Mama, I am tired.
Who do I have to talk to now? Who can I share my secrets with?
Mama, I remember all those times you’d pound cassava to sell and tell me of Jesus. You said Jesus was a good man who changed your life. Mama, I never saw Jesus but I saw how happy you were even in our poverty. You told me stories by the dying light of our local lantern. You would say it was good to be good. I never understood that. Until you sent me to the big city to school.
You always said I would be great. That I would be famous. That the white men would know me.
Mama, now they do. Now I am great. Now I am famous. But you are not here.
Mama, who do I share my achievements with?
But who do I share this sadness inside of me with?
Mama, you were my mother, my father, my sister, my brother and my friend. But now, I have no one. Why did you lie to me?
Uncle Raymond is coming my way. He and Udeme the palm wine tapper. They look smug. What do they want now?
Won’t they give me time to grieve, to mourn, to understand why you left me without saying anything?
Mama, I blame you.
I blame Papa.
I blame my brother.
I have no one.
Only me.
Why am I still breathing?
Uncle Raymond is clearing his throat. He says I have to buy 2 cows, a goat and 2 white hens. He says it is a traditional ceremony to celebrate you. He says the village priest must be given fresh palmwine, kolanuts and cowries to appease the gods.
Which gods, I muse. Which gods would take you away from me?
But Mama, you always say there is only one God. The Father of Jesus. The One who came to die for our sins and to set us free from Ekwensu.
I hear the words coming out from Uncle Raymond’s fat lips but they don’t mean anything.
Whose ceremony?
Mama is still alive. She just went to see Ada, the daughter of her late friend who just gave birth. She’ll come back soon.
But it’s dark now Mama, where are you?

Wednesday Updates on Twist of Fate: Episodes 401- 402

Tanu is thinking she will win in the dance competition. just then she sees Nikhil standing and is shocked to find him in the house. Vijay acts during the rehearsals. Raj says he is really wonderful, and asks him about the arrangements. Vijay informs Raj that he is ready to attack and asks him to keep the amount ready. Raj asks him to complete the work and not leave any proof. Vijay cuts the apple with a sword. Raj asks why did he take up Ravan’s role. Vijay says he will end Sita in kalyug. Raj thinks to arrange the money. On the other hand, Tanu gets worried noticing Nikhil in the house and asks him as to why did he come there and asks not to meet her in the house. Nikhil compliments her beauty and says her dress is suiting her. He asks if she plan to dance…

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10 Different Ways To Combine Your Colours By fydola

Hmm….. It’s Monday again and naturally, most people aren’t so happy. You’re so tired and a little bit cranky that you didn’t have enough “you time” over the weekend. Waking up this morning, you got so “Arrrrrrgggghhh….”. Yeah, I do understand.
I also understand how you feel when you have to search through your closet to put together the right colored outfit and you just can’t seem to find anything that matches. Hmm….I really know that feeling. It could be frustrating when you have all the color shades of clothes and you don’t know how to combine them. Especially on a Monday morning, many women and men struggle to know what to wear. But things don’t have to be too complicated. You can make your life a lot easier with some clever fashion tips that allow you look your stunning and fabulous on every occasion.

I put together 10 different…

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Sexy And Comfortable Shoe Styles for Clubbing

High heels make your legs look long and trim, but oh, the pain! These fabulous shoe styles for clubbing will make you look good and feel great while dancing the night away

Going out at night represents a footwear challenge for all of us.

We want to look our sexy best when we go clubbing. More often than not, this means a pair of killer heels. Face it – nothing else makes your legs look that great.

But there’s more to dressing for a night at the club than looking sexy. You may have to walk or run to the train to get there. You’re likely to dance. And you never know what other surprises the night might bring. You need shoes that will let you experience the night without falling over or causing blisters.

You want to maintain your sex appeal and you want to avoid unnecessary foot pain.

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15 Must Have Accessories for True Fashionistas

Welcome to the age of fashion and accessories! Be it a chic watch or a dandy belt, it’s very important to accessorize and to accessorize right. Before I continue, something happened last weekend…

Ok I went for an occasion where everyone was expected to dress in a stylish and sexy outfit. I sat gazing at every beautiful lady being ushered to their different seats and suddenly my eyes got a fast glimpse of a lady whom instantly I believed we needed afashion police to come for our rescue “OMG”!!! Girlfriend what in fashion’s name are you wearing! I asked? Her combination and accessories were nothing to even imagine, I had to walk up to her, tried to convince her to let me make some adjustment to her appearance. By the time we were through with it, I decide

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18 Ways To Be Beautiful Without Makeup

If you’re like me then you have days that you just want to go makeup-free. You want to let your skin breathe and just be free. Well, it is good to go makeup-free but it is bad to look terrible when you are.

So, to help both the beautiful ladies and handsome guys remain as attractive as ever, here are some 18 ways to be awesome without makeup.

  1. Wash your face with a facial cleanser every day. You need to always keep your skin clean. Why? Your face becomes blemish free and looks lively. So, always use a cleanser created for your skin type- if you have dry or sensitive skin, don’t use cleansers for people with oily skin and vice versa. For those with oily skin, I’d advise you wash your face both morning and night. If you have dry, sensitive or normal skin, wash your face before bed…

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DIY: How To Care For Your Braids

You’ve heard it said before, braids are a protective hair style and if you braid your hair it will grow better and faster.

That’s true but only to a certain extent – if you don’t braid your hair in the right way you will lose hair!

When it comes to braids you need to keep the following things in mind:

Braiding your hair will lead to breakage if:

  • The braids are tiny
  • You neglect your hair while it’s in braids

To ensure your hair does grow when it is braided do the following:

  • Detangle your hair well before you go to the stylist as she will be less patient with detangling your hair for you; if your hair is all tangled she will break more of it than you would.
  • Deep condition your hair very thoroughly before braiding.

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11 Tips On Growing Your Hair Long By fydola

Yeah, who says it’s only those with natural hair can get tips on how to grow their hair? Well, I want to put it to you that you can actually grow your retouched or permed hair, it’s a matter of choice. You can grow your hair regardless, even if it is permed. Join me as I take you through the tips on how to do just that…

Overnight growth.Unless your scalp unleashes new strands like a puppy, chia pet, gaining new length is going to take time. Our hair typically only grows about a quarter of an inch to a half an inch max, a month and that’s only if it is super-healthy and doesn’t have a ton of split ends. The fact is for one to be patient.

Scissors is your friend.Although getting regular trims to snip splits won’t make your hair actually grow faster, it will…

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DIY: 9 Simple Tips For Perfect Nails Everyday

Regular nail care results in healthy nails that you can be proud to take to work or out on the town. Your nail care plan can be simple and inexpensive. In fact, says dermatologist D’Anne M. Kleinsmith, MD, of the William Beaumont Hospital in Royal Oak, Mich., being overly aggressive with cleaning and maintaining nails might actually put your normally strong nails at risk for yeast or bacterial infections. You won’t need frequent manicures to maintain good-looking nails if you follow these 9 simple tips for healthy and perfect nails.

9. TRY BIOTIN:

Nails grow from the end of the fingers and toes and serve as a form of protection. They also help when picking up small objects. As long as you eat a healthy, varied diet, you don’t need any dietary supplements to guarantee strong nails. But, says Dr. Kleinsmith, people with weak nails may benefit from supplemental biotin, a B…

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Caged: Ene’s Life Story (3)

My father, even in shock, kept pressing the horn of the car, it was out of commission. He looked at me and my brother in the frontal mirror with tears in his eyes, looked at his wife, left the wheel of the car and hugged her. The last thing I heard was “I’m sorry” and then there was blankness…

The next time I woke up was three days later in a hospital. With more than half of my body wrapped in a cast. I couldn’t speak or move but my uncle and his drinking partners were there. My uncle held the only finger on my left hand that still had feeling. He said, sympathetically-

“Ene, you have only me now. Your father, mother, and brother are no more”.

My heart started beating so fast that I went into shock. The doctor and nurses, whose faces I didn’t know, came rushing…

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The Worst Kind Of A Best Friend

I really messed up this time. I know I always mess up but this time around, it’s different. I feel ashamed and embarrassed that I belted out my anger in public but I have to say that it feels good. But I messed up.

Claire is my best friend or used to be as of 30 minutes ago. We ate, shopped, and did a whole lot of stuff together. She was the one person in high school who saw through my introversion and helped me through a lot. Smart, vivacious, popular, Claire was the perfect high school cheerleader. Even when we got to college, she was the one people saw first, wanted to be friends with first, wanted to do stuff with first. I was in her shadow and I didn’t realize it until we graduated college. I believed that she was actually helping me out by saying stuff like…

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